On one hand I really don’t want to start off a post with the word ass in the title, but I know it’s necessary in order to be authentic.
Besides it’s a legitimate question. And we have to ask questions to get answers.People really want to know what is up with all these fake happy people telling others to be positive. Where is this rush of happybots coming from with their little perky fire extinguishers setting loose on everyone who needs to express their fears, worries, or overall life issues? It’s annoying, it’s fraudulent, what it up with it?
To that I would say that everyone who adopts a positive mindset is not being a fake ass. Realistically speaking, some are- but I don’t think it’s necessarily to be malicious. I think that sometimes people have a very negative mindset and they think that in order to be more positive, they have to pretend to be positive and that’s all there is to it. They are pretending, and they don’t move past that.
Others will latch on to anything in order to control the speech, thought patterns, and ideas of others; so if “positive” is in, then they are going to be stomping in your face with it.
Then that leaves the next group – they aren’t faking the funk, they aren’t playing drill sergeant – optimism is what is truly in their hearts. Maybe they were born that way, or perhaps later in life they decided to put in the work in order to shift to a more optimistic point of view. But these people are not fake, phony, and fraudulent. They truly feel empowered to say, “no matter what life throws at me, I am choosing to stay in the moment and make it as positive as possible.”
What does authentic positivity look like?
It means cutting off all negative people. It doesn’t matter what role they play in your life – if they are bringing nothing but stress, trauma, and drama then it’s time to bid them adieu. A lot of people are going to get caught on this first step because it’s not easy. But the truth is that if you choose to keep surrounding yourself with negative people, you are not going to be able to lift them up, they are going to drag you down.
Focusing on the NOW is also important. It’s not about yesterday, it’s not about tomorrow, it’s not about how 10 years ago your cousin pissed you off. It’s about now, this moment. What can you focus on right now that makes you smile, gives you peace, or is just a neutral place of rest. You can’t worry about every single issue in the world expect to have inner peace.
Peace can only come from you. If you think someone else has to change in order for you to be happy then you have it all wrong. I know this is hard to accept because we live in a world that has us constantly focusing on everyone and everything besides ourselves.
From one drama to the next we feel that it is righteous and responsible to constantly be focused outward, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. That doesn’t mean to be cold, heartless, and completely lack empathy. It means that you cannot change the world if you cannot even change yourself. How can you bring peace to the world if your inner world is waging war?
If you are struggling with this concept, try turning off the television and avoiding the news blogs for one week. Then make it two weeks. Then try a month. Then see how you feel. Who knows, you might make it permanent.
How do I know this is not fluffy crap?
If you’ve cut off negative people, you are focusing on the joys of the present moment, you are avoiding excessive exposure to negativity, then how could you not be a little more optimistic than when you first started?
I’m not saying it’s easy as pie because it’s not. It takes work, it takes practice, it’s takes real effort. So if you are wondering where all these “fake ass happybots” are coming from, there is your answer. They are coming from a place of trying to make positive change in their life. They are coming from a place of letting go of being focused on the outward and learning how to focus on the inward. They are coming from a place of taking that lemon, sugar, and water and making it into a delicious drink.
Give it a try and let me know how it works out for you.