We all come across these characters in some point of our lives. But some have it much worse than others because interacting with these characters is not just a passing scene; it is a way of life.
How can you deal with it? How can you better yourself if every time you turn around Big Bitter Bill is in your face with the same bull.
This can be very dis-empowering, and the longer it goes on the more you will feel your power slip away. But you have more power than you think, and it’s time to stand up and claim it. Because most of the time it’s really not about them, it’s about you.
Yes, they are so nasty and so rude but that does not necessarily have to impact you.
Think about this –
1) Is it required for you to subject yourself to this person?
3) What will happen if you stop allowing them to heap negativity on you?
The third question is really important because it makes you dig deep down and confront your fears.
Why are you afraid of saying no?
Why are you afraid of letting go?
Is it money?
Do you feel this person holds the keys to your financial well-being? What if I told you that it may seem that way now, but you can change that.
How great it would be if instead of focusing on how much nastiness this person heaps on you, you could focus on how you are going to pull things together so you no longer need to be in their presence.
Is it loyalty?
The person is your mom, your dad, your beloved Aunt and you just can’t let go of them because you feel it is wrong.
What if I told you that is it wrong for someone to use you as a dumping ground, but what is even worse is for you to allow it and then complain about it.
Think about this, how can you consider yourself to be a loyal person if you can’t even be loyal to yourself! You have to take care of yourself. That’s very hard to do if you are constantly worn down by someone who has all but told you that he or she has no intention on ever changing.
But you can help them change…right?
It goes back to the same point. How can you expect someone else to change if you can’t even change? If you can’t stand up and walk away from what you know is coming then you can’t possibly think you can motivate others to make changes.
Furthermore, you can’t make someone change who doesn’t want to. It comes down to asking yourself if you are going embody the changes that you want to see or are you going to stay stuck in the same situation 10 years from now?
Sometimes you just have to stop. Stop allowing them to contact you, stop contacting them, stop being in their presence daily….just stop.
And this is where the work comes in because it’s not easy. Sometimes you can stop with a cold, cool slice and other times there are some steps to complete before going there. But the important thing to know is that it is better to focus on solutions than to stay stuck focusing on the problem.
There is a quote that says something to the effect of sometimes you have to let go simply because it’s too heavy. Once you truly understand what that means, you’ll be able to sit back and sip your sweet cup of lemon, sugar water.