Are you in the habit of being happy?
At one point I wasn’t. But I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as me being “realistic.” I felt that my feelings and ideas were normal based on what was happening at the time. I wasn’t necessarily unhappy, I was just waiting for certain circumstances to change and then I would be happy.
The funny thing is things did change, but I didn’t. Everything that I wanted to change, changed, but I was still sort of bleh. I didn’t see anything wrong with it because I wanted to keep it real, I wasn’t going to be one of those fake people running around shouting about happiness when I felt that things could be better.
A NEW VIEW
Then one day, magic happened. I’m not sure what started it, but as I was about to complain about something I realized what I was doing. It’s was like a spark went off in my mind that would not allow me to get that complaint out. I realized that I would never be satisfied with anything because I was never satisfied with anything.
It came as a shock to me as I sat and reflected, “wow, am I that type of person?” That is the moment when I decided that I needed to take control of my life and shift my perspective.
Perspective is what it is all about. It’s not about what is happening to you, it’s about how you perceive it. Once that perception starts up, you have a choice as to how you react. I realized that I wasn’t being “realistic”, I was choosing to perceive things in a negative fashion.
THE REAL SECRET
I’ve since learned that happiness is a habit. It’s not a place. It’s not a thing. It’s not a mineral or animal. It is a choice. Therefore, it makes sense that if you want to be happy, then you have to get into the habit of being happy.
How does one get into the habit of being happy?
That’s the trick to it all because it will look different for each individual. But what will remain the same is that whatever “happiness” is, it’s not something that comes from an external source.
If you are in the habit of being miserable and cranky then nothing external is going to change that. I’m proof of that.
More money is not going to get you out of the habit of processing life from a cranky perspective. You’ll be the exact same person you are, just with more money. Having a better romantic relationship is not going to eliminate the tendency to feel miserable all of the time. You’ll have a great partner, but you’ll find some other reason to be miserable.
You have to look deep inside of yourself to find what exactly you are looking for. Most people want comfort, stability, love, and enriching experiences. With that in mind, it makes sense to show gratitude for how we already have that.
What are you thankful for? How much time do you spend thinking about that? When you have the answer to those questions, you’ll have the answer to what brings true happiness.
I’ve changed. I’ve changed a lot. And now I can say that I’m happy each and every day because I have set the habit to feel that way. Happiness doesn’t depend on external circumstances, it depends on the way I CHOOSE to process my life experiences. And I choose to process them with a lens of gratitude and optimism for the future. How about you?